Culture & Identity

Culture isn't always something we consciously think about. Sometimes it shows up in the expectations we grew up with about being a good daughter or a good son, respecting our elders, keeping the peace, making the “right” choices, or putting our family's needs before our own.

In many Asian and immigrant families, we may grow up learning to respect our parents, not question them, and follow certain paths in life. It can become complicated when what you want is different from what your family wants for you.

You might know what you want but feel guilty for choosing it. You might find it difficult to disagree with your parents or make a decision you know they won't approve of. Or maybe you've spent so much time doing what you thought you were supposed to do that you're not actually sure what you want anymore.

There can be a lot of mixed feelings in this. You can love your family and appreciate what they've done for you while also feeling frustrated, resentful, guilty or wanting more freedom to make your own choices.

Therapy isn't about rejecting your culture or blaming your family. It can be a place to understand where some of these expectations come from, how they've shaped you, and what you want to hold onto or do differently as you find your own way forward.