What It Can Feel Like to Take Up More Space

Taking up more space doesn’t always mean becoming more outspoken.

Sometimes it looks much smaller than that.

Saying where you actually want to eat instead of automatically saying, “I don’t care.”

Not apologizing when you haven’t done anything wrong.

Sharing what you think, even when part of you wants to keep the peace.

Or saying no without spending the next hour wondering whether you should have said yes.

If you’re used to thinking about what other people need or how they might react, these moments can feel surprisingly uncomfortable. You might worry that you’re being difficult, selfish or asking for too much.

That discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done something wrong. Sometimes you’re simply doing something you’re not used to doing.

A small place to start

Notice the moments when you automatically say, “It’s fine,” “I don’t mind” or “Whatever works for you.”

Before answering, give yourself a moment to ask:

What do I actually want?

What would I say if I wasn’t so worried about how it would be received?

Sometimes just noticing that you have a preference, a need or something you want to say is a place to begin.